By Eve W. Engle

The dogs rule in our house. They are fed first, allowed in our bed, have their own bed in the guest room and sneak up onto the sofas when we aren't looking. Maxie, short for Maximus, is a Golden Retriever/Great Pyrenes mix, Sammy is a Black Lab/Border Collie mix. His full name is Samuel L. Jackson after one of my favorite actors. Both were abused and rescued from their former owners. They get cookies every morning.

Monday, November 7, 2016

Inspiration revived

Life throws jagged poison tipped arrows at you once in a while. I've been through my share. In August of 2015 I found myself completely uprooted and without my own "space". I resigned from the job I had depended on for 16 years, the career choice of 34 years, paid off my car, sold almost everything I owned, and left the house I had paid mortgage payments on for 15 years to move across the state and in with my elderly mother. I had to reinvent myself as her caretaker and as someone without a steady income, and with no benefits.

Here we are a year later. I am richer in too many ways to count. I have reestablished relationships from high school, learned the topography of our family acreage, found a completely different career in a field I had never considered in my past, and acquired a Shih Tzu. My waistline is larger due to the rich array of country foods in my daily diet, but I am feeling prettier than I have in a long time. The stress of being in a place in your life where you know you have tarried too long can etch deep furrows in your self esteem. I have my moments, but I feel more content than I have in a long while.

Strangely enough, I find myself so busy that I don't miss the career I was devoutly devoted to for over three decades. Instead of manning a library desk, my Saturdays now revolve around an almost religious experience in football. Where I had been living had football too, but it was more reserved, and the team was not my own. Here I can whoop and holler for the boys in the "right" uniform, and not need to apologize for my outrageous behavior. I can get up and wander around in my pajamas on my family land and not worry that anyone other than a curious buzzard will see me. My dogs can freely explore smells that fill their souls with a natural wonder of the likes they have never experienced. And they can run . . . and run . . . and run. And best of all I can read anything I want, when I want, for as long as I want, wherever I want! (I have discovered that I really like paranormal romance novels. Giggles.)

What felt last year like stinging arrows launched by the likes of little nasties in children's nightmares has evolved into cupid's arrows into my senior adult heart. I am happy! Maybe not blissfully, but nevertheless, happy.

Reinventing one's self is good for the soul. I am writing again. Daily life brings inspiration where just a year ago my life felt devoid of it. I had to force myself to write anything. But this fall I am working on my novel and getting serious about finishing several other ideas.

Inspiration may take a while, but circumstances can change and make all the difference.

Never give up seeking inspiration, nor believing in yourself.

Next time I feel the stings of nasty little arrows, I am grabbing a handful and throwing them back!

No comments:

Post a Comment